How to Gently Support Someone Who’s Not Ready to Ask for Help.
You’ve noticed the signs.
They’re withdrawing more. Cancelling plans. Saying they’re “just tired”, but it’s been months. Maybe they’re living with disability, trauma, or chronic illness… but won’t ask for support.
You want to help, but you don’t want to push. So what do you do?
Here’s the truth: you don’t need to have the perfect words.
You just need to show up - gently, consistently, and without pressure.
Why Some People Don’t Ask for Help (Even When They Need It)
If someone you love isn’t reaching out, it’s not because they’re lazy or don’t want care.
Often, it’s because:
They’ve been dismissed or misunderstood in the past
They feel like a burden
They don’t know where to start
They’re exhausted - emotionally, physically, or both
They’re used to coping silently, because that felt safer
And for many women, especially those with disability or chronic health needs, asking for help feels like admitting defeat.
But support isn’t about surrender. It’s about survival. And one of the most powerful things you can do is remind them - quietly - that they’re not alone.
Gentle Ways to Show You’re There (Without Pushing)
Here are a few ways to offer care without overwhelming them:
Check in without expectations:
“No need to reply, just thinking of you and here if you need.”Offer specific, low-pressure support:
“I’m heading to the shops, want me to grab you anything?”Share a calm option:
“I came across this place that offers soft, low-pressure wellness programs. No pressure, just thought of you.”
(Like this one at Dara.)Let them be seen without fixing or advising
Just sitting with someone, making them a cup of tea, or sending a silly meme, it all counts. More than you think.
When They’re Almost Ready… but Still Unsure
If your person is starting to talk about being overwhelmed or tired of coping, you might gently mention places like Dara. Spaces built for when someone doesn’t want clinical jargon or complicated systems.
Dara’s support is calm, choice-led and trauma-aware, with services like:
1:1 support work
Disability wellness programs
Help navigating the NDIS
Simple ways to feel more connected, calm and capable
You can explore services together on this page, or even offer to reach out on their behalf.
They don’t have to say yes today, they just need to know help is possible.
You don’t need to convince someone to say yes to support. You just need to remind them they matter, even when they can’t show up fully.
Because care doesn’t have to be a dramatic turning point.
Sometimes, it starts with a quiet “Hey, I see you.”
And that’s enough.
Learn more about Dara’s gentle approach to disability and wellness support »